What I Learned from My Father-in-law

Today would have been my father-in-law’s 108th birthday. My husband was born when he was almost 45. Dad always said having a little son kept him young. He had a quiet way of living and sharing what he knew about life.

My mother-in-law liked to buy things for me and when I objected once, Dad told me, “When someone does something nice for you, don’t argue, smile and say thank you.” Then he added, “Besides, it makes her happy.”

Dad was a great bargain Hunter, always finding things on sale, which meant he had to buy them, whether he needed them or not. When I found a real steal on something, he said I inherited that gene from him!

On our first cross country trip with my in-laws, I learned the journey is as important as the destination and you have to take the opportunity to see everything along the way. On our first day we’d been on the road less than two hours and we passed a billboard for an A and W root beer stand. I said out loud that I hadn’t had an A&W in forever and next thing I knew the car hop was taking our order! I came from a family where making time to get where you’re going sooner was more important than stopping. The root beer was wonderful. My husband  whispered to me “Don’t say anything out loud unless you really want it!”

Dad believed no family gathering was complete without homemade ice cream and he was always willing to make it, usually with his son-in-law sitting next to him helping with the ice and salt. Store bought ice cream just isn’t the same!

Dad said you should keep doing things as long as you can, then you’ll be able to keep doing it.  He traveled all over Southern Illinois watching my husband play basketball in high school and thought nothing of jumping in the car after church to drive to Champaign to take us to dinner and then go back home that night. He roofed one of our houses with my husband and brother-in-law and even painted his own house  when he was well over 70. He liked going and doing. Sometimes we’d just get in the car without a specific destination, just getting out to “blow the stink off.”

Dad always encouraged me to feed my inner child. He orchestrated a weiner roast over a bonfire for my 25th birthday… With homemade ice cream, of course. And one year, he worked making a special gift, the same gift, for each one of his young grandchildren. When all the packages were under the tree, there was an extra one of the same size as for the grandchildren and great grandchildren. It was for me! When we opened gifts, he had made us all little padded wooden stools shaped like turtles. I was as delighted as the little kids were!

The most important thing Dad taught me was don’t worry, it doesn’t change anything. I confess that I have never mastered it as well as he did. But I want to and I keep trying.  He was a man of great faith who simply put his trust in the Lord. He knew everything would work out like it was supposed to. I know he was right.

Happy Birthday Dad. Thank you for loving me like one of your own from the very beginning!