I’ve always found it interesting to read the obituaries in the local paper. That’s why I wanted to read Heather Lende’s book Find the Good: Unexpected Life Lessons from A Small Town Obituary Writer. My husband ordered it from Amazon for me and I highly recommend it for an uplifting, surprisingly life affirming short read.
It’s fascinating to see what is included in the final announcement and what is not. I learned from a friend there is a charge based on length which could explain why some obituaries are only names, dates and the location and time of the service. Others fill multiple columns listing all the extended family, every award and degree and expansive descriptions of the deceased’s personal enjoyments. Since I live in the Bible Belt and the epicenter of the Roll Tide Nation, it is not surprising to find references to being called home to rest in the arms of Jesus or being a die hard Bama fan. Last week I especially enjoyed reading about the woman who sent Coach Saban a thank you note at the end of the season, but hadn’t been in Heaven long enough to have any influence on the outcome of the Bama LSU game. Her family was certain that she was already working on the Iron Bowl.
Lately, I’ve been thinking about what my Obituary will say. Not in a morbid way, but out of curiosity. That train of thought may have started from reading Heather’s book. Then adding coal to my thought train were the last several months of every insurance telemarketer in the Free world relentlessly calling because they knew know many candles were on my cake last week. That’s just plain creepy!
I guess I could follow my mother’s lead and write my own obituary which she did shortly after Daddy left us. The facts that were important to her were put together in such a way that the innocent reader would have been misled about the sequence of events. She didn’t mention any divorces and completely omitted her second husband. She even claimed my baby brother as one of her children – the son she never birthed but my father’s second wife did. Maybe the Alzheimer’s was already taking hold more than we realized.
In the end – pun intended – it really doesn’t matter what appears in the paper or how many columns it takes to outline your life to perfect strangers. The love you share through well-timed hugs, constant prayers, meals together, gifts of time and talent, a compassionate ear, and a shoulder to cry on when there are, hopefully, infrequent tears, day in and day out with the people who are important to you writes its own story of your life. And that’s more than enough.
Sending love and blessings to you!